ok, so this is weird...

so today i found out that if you cut yourself under warm water you won't stop bleeding. which is really weird cause this last time i relapsed, that's the only way i would cut myself, when i felt shitty, that's what i would do. take a bath and cut. i could have killed myself, fyi, that was not the aim. i was just feelin shitty , and that was my release. the cuts were fuckin deep, it's a wonder i never bled out. so now that i'm in the right state of mind, it's just like wwow.... i could have died...

i'm glad i didn't die.

i dunno..this is just like fuckin crazy to me right now..maybe i'll feel different about it tomorrow.

i am not looking for attention, i'm just venting.